Peacock

Now if you're unfamiliar with the term, peacocking is when there is something about your person that can elicit conversation and act as an icebreaker. Now there's no magic shirt that will all of a sudden get you laid, but there is a base around which you can utilize small things to start a conversation and possibly get a smile. Get a smile, and you've got a promising start to any conversation.

Now if you have a cellphone capable of setting a ringtone, you can set a theme song to a particular good friend, and use that to your advantage. Whenever your friend calls, if there's anyone interesting around, you can use a catch phrase from the song to greet your friend while simultaneously flashing a smile at the girl. This is great because the ringtone gets her attention, you get to smile while making eye contact - and now she's just caught herself looking at you. This is the perfect time to read if she's interested as a lot of people have trouble hiding interest in that half second.

Other methods such as bracelets, hats, shirts and shoes can act as conversation starters as well. Necklaces tend to be fairly standard so getting a comment on one is usually a fairly good indication of interest unless you have a remarkable necklace. Any time you get that extra glance or start a conversation using any of these things you can think to yourself - you didn't even have to buy a porsche.

Blast from the Past: Exs

Now I know that almost eveyone, unless they end on a bad note, usually says something along the lines of: 'Let's stay friends though...' and then mysteriously never talk to each other. You might ask yourself 'Why would you say something you don't mean?' Well, when you run into an ex, as you almost inevitably will, this little parting line can do wonders for avoiding a bad scene. Imagine being on a date and running into an ex claiming you stole her stuff, cheated on her and generally ran amok of her life. The ladies don't find this to be a turn-on. So here are a few pointers for ending on a better note:

1) Always try to make her feel as if you're not breaking it off because of her. You can do this by adding a few compliments in.

2)Be firm when you say you need time for yourself to get some things figured out about yourself. You could also say you feel like in order to really be intimate with anyone you need to understand yourself a bit more.

3)If you really have trouble being firm, you can say that you may just need a break, and then later on tell her you realized that you were just two different people, and you don't see it working in the long run. This is a better approach because it shows that you seem to be thinking ahead, but at the same time makes you seem a little less avoidant.

4)Lastly you can say that you don't have anything to offer her, although this will definetly cut you off from anyone she knows as a possibility. It is probably the fastest most effective way to break off a relationship besides dropping all communication. I wouldn't personally recommend this step unless you are having trouble making it clear in a kinder manner.

All in all, being on decent terms with an ex helps to avoid ugly scenes and you may never know, could even lead to a crazy night at a later time.

Impromptu Thought

Although I still am 'hiatusing' I was struck by a thought today that I thought I should share 2 impotant musings.

1)Risk Assessment:
Now if you haven't already, you probably will end up having a girl break your heart at one point or another. It sucks, yes, however you need to think about the future in a positive way. It happens once, yes, it could happen again, yes BUT that makes the risk you take with girls all the more worthwhile. It's knowing that you could be thrown right down on your ass again and doing it again that really shows you both value the person you ask out next and appreciate what you have even more.

2)Recognize what you're in it for:
There are some that will disagree with me, but I think it's important to keep in mind that you're not just picking up objects when you go out - but real people with feelings. If you're in it just for sex you may find yourself simply having lots of empty sex. Now there's nothing wrong with this - as long as you can recognize that no pickup will work as well as the one you really mean. You should have a genuine interest in getting to know the girl better before you jump into bed. That being said - there's nothing wrong with getting some experience ;)

Brief Hiatus

Dear Readers, stumblers, clickthroughs, and everyone else,

I am going to have to take a brief hiatus from posting, starting previous to this message apparently. Never fear though, the posts will be coming back within the next 2 weeks. Keep it classy ;)

Mendel

3 Things to Immediately Improve Your Game

1)Be Energetic and Animated

A lot of people think that to get girls they have to be loud and obnoxious like that asshole at the next table that won't stop talking in what is definetly not, and never will be, classified as an 'indoor voice.' A lot of people don't pick up very well either.

Being energetic doesn't mean you have to be loud or obnoxious, it just means you have to be enthusiastic about what you're doing. Don't get carried away and start exclaiming over your morning coffee, but step up the conversational tone from 'listening' to 'involved.' Focus on what you're doing like there's not any other thing you'd rather be doing at the moment.

2)Body Language

People tend to overshoot and undershoot this step. You want to have a confident posture, but you not look like you're waiting for a seargent to come around the corner and be impressed at your vigilant posture. Keep your shoulders back, and head up, but be relaxed. Imagine that your spine is like a puppets string down your back. Be upright, but no need to be a post.
On the other hand, don't look like a rag doll. Your relaxation should be one of ready movement. KNOW that you can move quickly, but CHOOSE to move smoothly.

3)Contact: Combine and build on the first two steps.

Now you're energetic, and you're emanating self-confidence - add some gesturing and you can expan your influence to her. As you talk, get in the habit of making some gestures. Keep your elbows bent when in a conversation, and to emphasize a point, or to see if she agrees, you can simply touch her arm for emphasis. This helps to subconsciously build up a kind of 'trust bank.' She will being to think of you as more friendly, likeable, and start to think of you as different from others.

Employ these three steps all the time, with everyone and it will soon become a natural and effective way to communicate and become close with not only those you are interested in, but people who simply don't know you're their friend yet - if you so choose.

What YOU should be thinking about while talking to HER

When approaching and talking to women, a lot of people manage to catch their attention, but holding it and keeping the conversation interesting is a challenge that many, many people struggle with.

So how do you give a conversation some of that extra sparkle? Simple, all you have to do, is think about what you're interested in. Now the tricky part is in steering the conversation in the direction you want it to. If you feel that you know music really well, you could drop a comment about how you feel like a local DJ at the parties cause everyone is looking for your CD, or just express an interest in music in general. The delivery of the first one may sound a bit cocky, so if you're still working on that self-humour tone, leave it for later. The beauty in this is that you're not only having a good conversation about something you enjoy, you're also seeing if she matches up with the kind of person you want to be with.

You should be thinking about what you want....and then getting it. Feel the energy

Meeting People

A lot of people these days feel lonely and socially stuck in a rut. People feel as if they don't get to meet new people and really connect anymore. If this sounds familiar to you, don't worry, it's actually not a bad thing - it will help motivate you to make a change in your life.

I know people say they don't like change, but change is the spice that keeps life interesting for most people. So how do you meet new people? Two words: common interests.

Look in your life and think to yourself ' what is it that I enjoy but don't do anymore because it requires a partner, spotter, etc. ' If you are physically oriented you might try rockclimbing, yoga, tai-chi, mountain biking, squash or tennis to name a few. Now the partner issue? Well this is where you find a club. Join a club and find out - if it's a partnered sport - what nights are free-for-all. For example, my rockclimbing gym has a bunch of people that go to climb on tuesday nights and everone is free to spot you as you climb. In these situations it's easy to strike up a conversation and if people are going to the gym alone, it means that they're probably single as well.

If you're less of a physical person, you could try dance classes, a bookclub or anything that people discuss - which is pretty much everything.

Once again, finding a way to share experiences with others is an easy way to connect with like-minded people.

The Conversation (2)

When having a conversation with anyone you basically do one thing: discuss common interests. Music, art, history, work, school, family, future etc. When talking to women, you can start with any of thses subjects or whatever happens to come to your head(make sure it's not something weird like 'you looked good at the supermarket last saturday'). An excellent way to begin a conversation is with a complement, or a thoughtful action such as holding the door. Poof - you just created an icebreaker(congratualtions).

Now that you have started a conversation, you have an almost infinite list of topics to choose from, which ironically tends to be the downfall of most conversations. The key concept to hold in mind is to share experiences. The best way to do this is to try to involve her in something your doing a the moment or talk about common interests. If you don't know much about her, ask a question or two - the more you know about her, the more you can talk about. For example, if you want to talk to a co-worker, it helps if you ask someone who knows her what she likes and find a way to slip it into the conversation. Asking her opinion or help on a topic or a activity that you're interested is also a good way to find common ground. This advice may seem repetitive, but the sooner you know how to hold her attention, the sooner she'll start to pay attention to you. Add a dash of humour or good natured arguing and you have the recipe for what people call 'chemistry'.

How NOT to Get Flustered

When out with a woman, some people tend to blurt something out that they didn't intend to and end up flustered and confused. To avoid this little mistake is quite easy most of the time. If you simply pause for a second and say something along the lines of 'I don't know why I said that' or '...I don't know where that came from!' you have just gone from putting your foot in your mouth to having a good sense of humour. If you don't take yourself too seriously, this is an easy way to turn a possible blunder into an opportunity to show an easygoing, funny attitude. This winning approach is a safe bet to disarming people and getting them to open up a little bit. The best part it can be used on purpose, or by accident and tends to work well either way.

Why Do Only Some Cheesy Pick Up Lines Sometimes Work?

There is always a fine line to what is funny, and what is a badly-concealed attempt at a pick up line. The reason that some cheesy pick up lines work is that the people using them know that if they make it extremely obvious it is a pick up line, the whole thing becomes a satire of self. A woman deserves better than a pick up line, but can also identify when a guy is using the pick up line as a joke about themselves and other guys who tried and failed to use it. When a guy is using a pick up line as a satire it denotes a sense of playfulness and humour that girls appreciate. This is where the fine line between confindence and cockyness comes into play as the same actions can be interpreted differently depending on the woman. You have to judge for yourself if it will be greeted with laughter or disdain. Sometimes there's just not telling - but it's always worth trying.

Tells - What is she thinking?

While on a date many people tend to be wondering a few specific things which can throw them off and end up with a disastrous night. One of them is 'will she go home with me?' - this question is usually getting ahead of itself and if you let it, will take care of itself with time.

The other is 'what is she thinking right now?' which really means 'what does she think of me?' No one I know is a true mind reader, but here are a few tells and tips for you to help to understand what is going on in her head. If, during the conversation, she is paying attention to you and rarely breaking eye contact, you are doing a good job of entertaining her and she is probably having a good time. Most girls, if they tend to lean forward on the table are more outgoing and confident in themselves. This tells you that she is looking for something a little bit different, a little edgy and daring - and she expects you to show her to it. If your date spends most of her time sitting back in her chair, with her arms very close to her body or clasped together, it is usually a sign that she is losing interest.

When on a date or just around ladies, not recognizing body-language flirting is a great loss. If a girl gives a glance from under her eyelashes, it is a very good sign of interest since it is a conscious move to see if you are as interested in her as she is in you. If in a standing position a lady leans towards you with her head up and inner arms exposed, it can be a conscious or unconscious expression that they approve of you in some way.

To get an idea if a girl finds you attractive you can play a little bit of a trick. While having a conversation you can use mirrors to see if she's giving you the 'upand down' in the mirror if you look away for a few seconds. Make sure you do it while you have either a plausible excuse for looking away(for something possibly), or during a comfortable silence or even if someone else happens to be talking. You can also use your peripheral vision when you look away to see if she switches from looking to your face to looking at the rest of you. If she does, you have a pretty good idea that she finds you attractive, if not - don't worry, not everyone will take every opportunity to check someone out.