The Conversation (2)

When having a conversation with anyone you basically do one thing: discuss common interests. Music, art, history, work, school, family, future etc. When talking to women, you can start with any of thses subjects or whatever happens to come to your head(make sure it's not something weird like 'you looked good at the supermarket last saturday'). An excellent way to begin a conversation is with a complement, or a thoughtful action such as holding the door. Poof - you just created an icebreaker(congratualtions).

Now that you have started a conversation, you have an almost infinite list of topics to choose from, which ironically tends to be the downfall of most conversations. The key concept to hold in mind is to share experiences. The best way to do this is to try to involve her in something your doing a the moment or talk about common interests. If you don't know much about her, ask a question or two - the more you know about her, the more you can talk about. For example, if you want to talk to a co-worker, it helps if you ask someone who knows her what she likes and find a way to slip it into the conversation. Asking her opinion or help on a topic or a activity that you're interested is also a good way to find common ground. This advice may seem repetitive, but the sooner you know how to hold her attention, the sooner she'll start to pay attention to you. Add a dash of humour or good natured arguing and you have the recipe for what people call 'chemistry'.

How NOT to Get Flustered

When out with a woman, some people tend to blurt something out that they didn't intend to and end up flustered and confused. To avoid this little mistake is quite easy most of the time. If you simply pause for a second and say something along the lines of 'I don't know why I said that' or '...I don't know where that came from!' you have just gone from putting your foot in your mouth to having a good sense of humour. If you don't take yourself too seriously, this is an easy way to turn a possible blunder into an opportunity to show an easygoing, funny attitude. This winning approach is a safe bet to disarming people and getting them to open up a little bit. The best part it can be used on purpose, or by accident and tends to work well either way.

Why Do Only Some Cheesy Pick Up Lines Sometimes Work?

There is always a fine line to what is funny, and what is a badly-concealed attempt at a pick up line. The reason that some cheesy pick up lines work is that the people using them know that if they make it extremely obvious it is a pick up line, the whole thing becomes a satire of self. A woman deserves better than a pick up line, but can also identify when a guy is using the pick up line as a joke about themselves and other guys who tried and failed to use it. When a guy is using a pick up line as a satire it denotes a sense of playfulness and humour that girls appreciate. This is where the fine line between confindence and cockyness comes into play as the same actions can be interpreted differently depending on the woman. You have to judge for yourself if it will be greeted with laughter or disdain. Sometimes there's just not telling - but it's always worth trying.

Tells - What is she thinking?

While on a date many people tend to be wondering a few specific things which can throw them off and end up with a disastrous night. One of them is 'will she go home with me?' - this question is usually getting ahead of itself and if you let it, will take care of itself with time.

The other is 'what is she thinking right now?' which really means 'what does she think of me?' No one I know is a true mind reader, but here are a few tells and tips for you to help to understand what is going on in her head. If, during the conversation, she is paying attention to you and rarely breaking eye contact, you are doing a good job of entertaining her and she is probably having a good time. Most girls, if they tend to lean forward on the table are more outgoing and confident in themselves. This tells you that she is looking for something a little bit different, a little edgy and daring - and she expects you to show her to it. If your date spends most of her time sitting back in her chair, with her arms very close to her body or clasped together, it is usually a sign that she is losing interest.

When on a date or just around ladies, not recognizing body-language flirting is a great loss. If a girl gives a glance from under her eyelashes, it is a very good sign of interest since it is a conscious move to see if you are as interested in her as she is in you. If in a standing position a lady leans towards you with her head up and inner arms exposed, it can be a conscious or unconscious expression that they approve of you in some way.

To get an idea if a girl finds you attractive you can play a little bit of a trick. While having a conversation you can use mirrors to see if she's giving you the 'upand down' in the mirror if you look away for a few seconds. Make sure you do it while you have either a plausible excuse for looking away(for something possibly), or during a comfortable silence or even if someone else happens to be talking. You can also use your peripheral vision when you look away to see if she switches from looking to your face to looking at the rest of you. If she does, you have a pretty good idea that she finds you attractive, if not - don't worry, not everyone will take every opportunity to check someone out.

Strategy (II): Straight Ahead

The most commonly used and seemingly the most successful approach is a combination of multiple approaches and attitudes. This method involves large displays of confidence, humour, friends and money all at once.

Employed mainly in clubs or bars with dance floors, it usually involves almost continual dancing in a simple side-to-side step combined with a little shoulder movement. This makes one seem friendly and when comments on your dancing come your way, the opportunity can be used as an ice-breaker, regardless if the input is positive or negative.It also helps if your friends are close by as you can stop dancing and lean over to make a comment every now and then so that girls don't think you're alone at the bar. It is very important to be smiling and easygoing while doing this otherwise it will seem awkward - learn to make it seem easygoing despite that it will feel awkward no matter what.

When buying drinks, always buy 3 or more at a time and be sure to share. This denotes generosity and if girls are simply using you for drinks, you still get an icebreaker and a chance to charm.

when it comes to charming them, making fun of yourself, then starting a mock argument works particularly well. If a girl is arguing with you, then she's not bored, and if she's not bored and still talking to you, she is - to some degree - interested.

Although this is the bare bones of the 'Straight Ahead' method, it is the essentials of it. It is important to notice that the employment of humour, smiling and wittiness(involved with the icebreakers, dancing, arguments etc) are all used.

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Strategy(I): The Nice Guy

This one is usually easyest for quieter, slightly conserved people. Characteristics tend to be good listening, thoughfullness (holding the door), and hopefully a little humour to keep things interesting. Being a nice guy doesn't mean that you stay the whole time at a girl's side. You can keep a little distance but be in the know when it comes to seeing if she wants something. Try to anticipate. Nice guy mixed with intuition can be a deadly effective combination. This is most easily done when you have a middleman for introduction(see Starting Grounds). Buying a distinctive drink for her that you know in advance will go over well is a good move. Improvising with a different drink with the same general type of ingredients is even better, but slightly more risky if she doesn't like it. As the nice guy, you don't make too much chatter, but you should try for an interesting observation with a sideline of humour if you can swing it. An example of this would be pointing out another guy with toilet paper on his shoe, or a ridiculous get-up that someone just walked in the room with. Being enthusiastic about something that's a hobby like stargazing, then following it up with a bashful '...but not too many people find it quite as interesting as I do" or a simple '...I'm a slightly nerdy like that.' with a smile can charm. As you may have noticed, the nice guy approach is probably best done with a slight twist to it. Something a little bit different that isn't expected keeps ladies guessing and wanting more - as long as they like it. Once again, the middleman use comes in handy for these situations. However, if you feel you can read people well enough to get a feel for their interests, it's not necessary. Dressing with style goes well with this seeing as most well-dressed guys will try for an all out 'look at how successful and confident I am' approach. Being enigmatic can be good for you, just keep it to the details - nothing big. Using this as a starting point, you can fill in your strategy making it full bodied for the full effect on ladies.