Avoidance of Continual Giving

Music, I think, is responsible for a lot of misguided dating and relationship direction. You constantly hear about how the author of the song will 'give anything' or 'bleed themselves dry' for the girl they love. Now devotion is a good thing, don't get me wrong, but a relationship and dating is not about you sacrificing and giving over and over. This attitude is wrong for dating and relationships for different reasons.
When it comes to dating if you start off and continue to give everything for the girl she will either be uncomfortable for being placed on some kind of pedestal or she will take advantage of you. Non-stop giving shows that you care, but it also shows that you don't know any other way to treat girls. As much as you think they might like being 'worshipped' they don't want to date someone who can't see them as a person. It can also give the impression that you have a a set of ideals they have to live up to. Ladies like having to live up to ideals as much as they like being told what to do. So for dating, there are a few reasons why non-stop giving is a bad idea.
When it comes to relationships, there can be sacrifice involved to make it work, but lets face it, it's either give-and-take or you're being used. For both cases, that's not to say a little bit of a present or surprise is unwelcome, but if you do it every day, it's not a surprise, and it becomes a habit that can make you feel obligated to do it. So save yourself the complications, because it doesn't work, and it earns you the boring reputation of being at any girls beck and call.

The Mindset

Now, I know you're looking for the answer of 'How do I pick up women?' but you're asking the wrong qestion already. What you should be asking is 'How should I approach picking up women?'. This is because if you go in with a pre-set list of lines you'll be dead in the water faster than you can say shout 'I WANT SEX!'. So bear with me, because the mindset to approaching women is important. Take business men for example. If you ever see them talking in a 'casual' setting you'll notice that they don't always say things straight out. They tend to dance around the subject, but you can still figure out by what they do and don't say that the guy on the blue suit wants to buy the guy in the black suit's business, but doesn't want to be left with a lemon for an investment. If you've seen a few of these transactions you'll notice that they tend to be more relaxed and confident than the situation warrants. This is because they've learned from experience you don't get information by being nervous, and people are more likely to trust and be open with an easygoing person. Although this seems like a simple concept, being able to stay relaxed in a situation with intensity or in a situation that matters to you isn't always easy.

The first step is to relax. Now take another breath, and relax again. One big deterrent is being uncomfortable in situations in which you think you have a chance, but as soon as you think that, you become all rigid, and the normal person you were two seconds ago becomes a rigid, awkward mess. So, how to avoid putting your foor in your mouth? Well there's a few approaches, but a good way to think of it is like making public speeches. You want good eye contact without staring to start with. If you have a mental preparation method for speeches - use it. Although as a side note, picturing girls in their underwear as you try to pick them up doesn't mix that well. What works for me is thinking of it like a game. This helps because you can take the situation less seriously allowing you to free your thoughts a bit. This means that instead of thinking about what she makes of you, you're thinking about what to say next. Which in turn means you have something more intelligent to say than 'uuuh'. Body language is important so don't stand ramrod straight but don't slouch - be relaxed. Respect other people's space. Talking from the distance of 4 inches away is not good. About armslength away is a good distance. Don't look down or at her breasts as you talk because it's disrespectful and will get you nowhere. But most of all keep that relaxed mindset and win or lose, be out to have a good time. As soon as the stakes are mentally lowered, your chances are literally increased. Keep in mind that girls do in fact like personality, so just be yourself, play to your natural strengths and enjoy yourself.

The Conversation (I)

You may have 50 hilarious 'knock knock' jokes to tell, unlimited funny stories, and priceless anecdotes, but if you can't listen, you'll never learn to get farther than talking. Don't let her carry the the whole conversation, but if you can get her talking for more than 3 sentences, it tends to be a good sign that you're on the right track(so don't mess it up). When she talks, listen, and remember what she said, because the more you know about her, the more there is to talk about. I'm gonna leave it at that, because this part is important.

Breaking the Ice

Ever have trouble walking up to a girl you don't know and just start talking to her? You're not the only one. Some people think that if you just start talking, things might pan out for you. Technically this is true depending on a number of things, but mostly just the girl. We all know first impressions are important, but have you ever watched people meet each other and notice HOW important they can be? For example, if the first thing you say to someone is funny, or witty and people react well to it, they are more likely to laugh and something you say in the future. If you simply ask a question as an icebreaker (questions vary depending on situations) then you've gotten her attention for about 5 seconds, and lost it again. Now there is always recovery, but a strong start is the first step to a good finish. Here are a few approaches for when opportunity of a conversation is present(making opportunities for youself comes later).

A Few Approaches:
-First thing you say should be funny, and if not the first thing, the next thing after that
-Find common ground as soon as possible -OR- be controversial and start a good natured arguement, flirting can always take place in an arguement, and being able to pull it off gives credit to your character (either way, you have to know a little about the girl - this is where the recover for the question method can be used with good effect)
-If you have a talent, flair or something that impresses, don't hesitate to use it, but keep in mind that cockyness = bad and confidence = good....it can be a fine line. (as a side note, being cocky in a self-mocking way is a popular method with good results)

Introduction

First off, I'd like to welcome everyone to this site. I hope that the advice given herein is used with good intention as well as effect. At all times keep in mind that each approach to women is something that has potential to work, and is open to variation and mixing of techniques. However, moderation is also important, as some techniques are not to be mixed, since they will 'cancel each other out'. Also, remember that success and failure are both methods of learning and you should never come out of an encounter feeling that you have not learned something about women, even if it is just about the individual you approached. That being said, I hope you find the following insightful and useful.