Strategy (II): Straight Ahead

The most commonly used and seemingly the most successful approach is a combination of multiple approaches and attitudes. This method involves large displays of confidence, humour, friends and money all at once.

Employed mainly in clubs or bars with dance floors, it usually involves almost continual dancing in a simple side-to-side step combined with a little shoulder movement. This makes one seem friendly and when comments on your dancing come your way, the opportunity can be used as an ice-breaker, regardless if the input is positive or negative.It also helps if your friends are close by as you can stop dancing and lean over to make a comment every now and then so that girls don't think you're alone at the bar. It is very important to be smiling and easygoing while doing this otherwise it will seem awkward - learn to make it seem easygoing despite that it will feel awkward no matter what.

When buying drinks, always buy 3 or more at a time and be sure to share. This denotes generosity and if girls are simply using you for drinks, you still get an icebreaker and a chance to charm.

when it comes to charming them, making fun of yourself, then starting a mock argument works particularly well. If a girl is arguing with you, then she's not bored, and if she's not bored and still talking to you, she is - to some degree - interested.

Although this is the bare bones of the 'Straight Ahead' method, it is the essentials of it. It is important to notice that the employment of humour, smiling and wittiness(involved with the icebreakers, dancing, arguments etc) are all used.

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Strategy(I): The Nice Guy

This one is usually easyest for quieter, slightly conserved people. Characteristics tend to be good listening, thoughfullness (holding the door), and hopefully a little humour to keep things interesting. Being a nice guy doesn't mean that you stay the whole time at a girl's side. You can keep a little distance but be in the know when it comes to seeing if she wants something. Try to anticipate. Nice guy mixed with intuition can be a deadly effective combination. This is most easily done when you have a middleman for introduction(see Starting Grounds). Buying a distinctive drink for her that you know in advance will go over well is a good move. Improvising with a different drink with the same general type of ingredients is even better, but slightly more risky if she doesn't like it. As the nice guy, you don't make too much chatter, but you should try for an interesting observation with a sideline of humour if you can swing it. An example of this would be pointing out another guy with toilet paper on his shoe, or a ridiculous get-up that someone just walked in the room with. Being enthusiastic about something that's a hobby like stargazing, then following it up with a bashful '...but not too many people find it quite as interesting as I do" or a simple '...I'm a slightly nerdy like that.' with a smile can charm. As you may have noticed, the nice guy approach is probably best done with a slight twist to it. Something a little bit different that isn't expected keeps ladies guessing and wanting more - as long as they like it. Once again, the middleman use comes in handy for these situations. However, if you feel you can read people well enough to get a feel for their interests, it's not necessary. Dressing with style goes well with this seeing as most well-dressed guys will try for an all out 'look at how successful and confident I am' approach. Being enigmatic can be good for you, just keep it to the details - nothing big. Using this as a starting point, you can fill in your strategy making it full bodied for the full effect on ladies.

Starting Grounds

Although you may be ready to go try out a few of the tips given, everyone crawls before they walk. There are situations where it's much easyer to meet and pick up women than walking by them on the street. This is where having a middleman is in your interest. Being able to have someone introduce you says that they credit you as being a good enough person to introduce to their friends. That is what I call a foot in the door. So big deal, you might think, I still have to find something in common so I can talk to her. Wrong. You already have the middleman to talk about. Now it's not exactly polite to talk about the middleman in front of him or her, so give it a few minutes and wait for an opportunity when they leave to get another drink or use the bathroom or something. In the meantime, you can pay attention to the general conversation and see if you can find anything that you can use. This is extremely beneficial since it gives you an inside line right from the start. You can get a feel for the person immediately in a social situation that it's ok not to talk too much right away. This is a lot of pressure released when compared to going solo or in pairs up to ladies that you don't know yet. Now, although having a middleman is beneficial, if you're looking for an easy lay, this is probably not the best time, since it can mess up friendships and possible new opportunities. Despite this, the call is always yours. Just don't let it give you a reputation unless you want it to.

Now that you have a new aquaintance, you can usually do one of two things. Try for the aquaintance, or see if you can get a second introduction to another of her friends. This is where it pays to know a little background information which you can get from your middleman. From there play to your strengths and see if the right situation, atmosphere, and conversation come together in your favour.

Body Language

Now this is where people make mistakes. Body language can tell people at a glance if you're confident, nervous, unsure of yourself, or just plain thinking about something else. Before you introduce yourself, you need to be able to seem like you have your act together. This means keeping your eyes off the ground along with your head up, shoulders back but not tense. Don't fidget. The last one is important, fidgeting means your mind is elsewhere, thinking about someone/something else, and is an immediate warning sign to ladies that you're not even paying enough attention to carry a decent conversation. While keeping this in mind, use the situation to your advantage. If you can see that both of you enjoyed an ironic of funny moment, catch her eye for a second and flash a smile. If you both end up waiting in a ridiculous line, grimace or roll your eyes a bit. Showing that you both have something in common to talk about, even for a minute, is an opener. For example, if you're both enjoying the pleasure of waiting in the rain, comment on how nice the weather is. A little twist of humour added to a socially normal comment is a good way to probe to see if she's even open to a conversation. However, body language should be constant in these cases. Pay attention to your posture when you're in different moods, and you'll begin to notice that a lot can be seen from a slight shrug, or a slight downturn of the mouth. As you get better at this you will not only be able to emulate whatever emotion suits the mood, but be able to read others better. Remember, body language is the introduction before the introduction. It is the first two steps before a lay-up, the lead in for anything that could follow. It can also be you're downfall. Being aware of messages you give off to others is crucial as well as an extremely useful tool. Use it.

Walking the Line

When dating or simply seeing women, there is a fine line to walk when knowing how to keep her wanting more of you. Oddly enough, this involves knowing when NOT to be around. Appreciation of someone can be increased if you notice their absence. Now granted, it is not a good idea to meet her once and never talk to her again - this will not work. So what is the perfect balance to make her want you? Once again this is the fine line. Take for example, the slow route to getting with a woman. You become aquaintances and talk to each other when you see each other and you've been around each other fairly often, say aounrd 5 hours a week or more. Now changing your schedule for a week or so will tell you if this is a good idea next time you see her. If she's wondering where you've been - that's a good sign. Be ready to pick up on any sign that she missed you for one reason or another. If it's simply a polite interest, chances are you should change your approach, or move on. Which you choose is a judgement call. Also, when you see her after being a little scarce, try to make a good impression again. Don't offer to do anything for her, just try to be witty within the first little while of talking to each other again. This can either enhance your standing with her, or nudge her into thinking of you in ways she wasn't before. No matter what, always walk the line. Don't be too available, but be aroudn when needed. You'll have to pay attention to know, but it always pays off when you offer help or do her a favour when she wasn't sure who to turn to. This way, next time she turns, it will be to you.

The Element of Surprise

If you're swinging women, dating women, or in a relationship with one, this part never gets old. Surprising a girl just when she thinks she's getting to know you can be exciting for her. Mystery is always enticing and new, so keeping a little bit of information about yourself can be beneficial. This can be something that you didn't even realize you could use. For example, if I were to have been to Kenya and brought up the topic of travel, she'll be entrigued about it. Now you get to impress her with your 'worldlyness' that she didn't have a clue you had. Knowing your audience is important in this area as well. Most people do have an interest in travelling, so it's a fairly safe bet, but don't come out with anything too left-field(unless she liles that).

After mentioning the little tidbit about yourself, if she's surprised enough to say something along the lines of 'really?' then you can say something along the lines of, 'I must just have a talent for surprising you.' If that's something you can say without going against the grain of your character. The reason for saying you can surprise her so blatently, helps her subconsciously think of you in a mysterious way. However, if you do this only once and continue to be totally predictable, it loses effect.

Avoidance of Continual Giving

Music, I think, is responsible for a lot of misguided dating and relationship direction. You constantly hear about how the author of the song will 'give anything' or 'bleed themselves dry' for the girl they love. Now devotion is a good thing, don't get me wrong, but a relationship and dating is not about you sacrificing and giving over and over. This attitude is wrong for dating and relationships for different reasons.
When it comes to dating if you start off and continue to give everything for the girl she will either be uncomfortable for being placed on some kind of pedestal or she will take advantage of you. Non-stop giving shows that you care, but it also shows that you don't know any other way to treat girls. As much as you think they might like being 'worshipped' they don't want to date someone who can't see them as a person. It can also give the impression that you have a a set of ideals they have to live up to. Ladies like having to live up to ideals as much as they like being told what to do. So for dating, there are a few reasons why non-stop giving is a bad idea.
When it comes to relationships, there can be sacrifice involved to make it work, but lets face it, it's either give-and-take or you're being used. For both cases, that's not to say a little bit of a present or surprise is unwelcome, but if you do it every day, it's not a surprise, and it becomes a habit that can make you feel obligated to do it. So save yourself the complications, because it doesn't work, and it earns you the boring reputation of being at any girls beck and call.

The Mindset

Now, I know you're looking for the answer of 'How do I pick up women?' but you're asking the wrong qestion already. What you should be asking is 'How should I approach picking up women?'. This is because if you go in with a pre-set list of lines you'll be dead in the water faster than you can say shout 'I WANT SEX!'. So bear with me, because the mindset to approaching women is important. Take business men for example. If you ever see them talking in a 'casual' setting you'll notice that they don't always say things straight out. They tend to dance around the subject, but you can still figure out by what they do and don't say that the guy on the blue suit wants to buy the guy in the black suit's business, but doesn't want to be left with a lemon for an investment. If you've seen a few of these transactions you'll notice that they tend to be more relaxed and confident than the situation warrants. This is because they've learned from experience you don't get information by being nervous, and people are more likely to trust and be open with an easygoing person. Although this seems like a simple concept, being able to stay relaxed in a situation with intensity or in a situation that matters to you isn't always easy.

The first step is to relax. Now take another breath, and relax again. One big deterrent is being uncomfortable in situations in which you think you have a chance, but as soon as you think that, you become all rigid, and the normal person you were two seconds ago becomes a rigid, awkward mess. So, how to avoid putting your foor in your mouth? Well there's a few approaches, but a good way to think of it is like making public speeches. You want good eye contact without staring to start with. If you have a mental preparation method for speeches - use it. Although as a side note, picturing girls in their underwear as you try to pick them up doesn't mix that well. What works for me is thinking of it like a game. This helps because you can take the situation less seriously allowing you to free your thoughts a bit. This means that instead of thinking about what she makes of you, you're thinking about what to say next. Which in turn means you have something more intelligent to say than 'uuuh'. Body language is important so don't stand ramrod straight but don't slouch - be relaxed. Respect other people's space. Talking from the distance of 4 inches away is not good. About armslength away is a good distance. Don't look down or at her breasts as you talk because it's disrespectful and will get you nowhere. But most of all keep that relaxed mindset and win or lose, be out to have a good time. As soon as the stakes are mentally lowered, your chances are literally increased. Keep in mind that girls do in fact like personality, so just be yourself, play to your natural strengths and enjoy yourself.

The Conversation (I)

You may have 50 hilarious 'knock knock' jokes to tell, unlimited funny stories, and priceless anecdotes, but if you can't listen, you'll never learn to get farther than talking. Don't let her carry the the whole conversation, but if you can get her talking for more than 3 sentences, it tends to be a good sign that you're on the right track(so don't mess it up). When she talks, listen, and remember what she said, because the more you know about her, the more there is to talk about. I'm gonna leave it at that, because this part is important.

Breaking the Ice

Ever have trouble walking up to a girl you don't know and just start talking to her? You're not the only one. Some people think that if you just start talking, things might pan out for you. Technically this is true depending on a number of things, but mostly just the girl. We all know first impressions are important, but have you ever watched people meet each other and notice HOW important they can be? For example, if the first thing you say to someone is funny, or witty and people react well to it, they are more likely to laugh and something you say in the future. If you simply ask a question as an icebreaker (questions vary depending on situations) then you've gotten her attention for about 5 seconds, and lost it again. Now there is always recovery, but a strong start is the first step to a good finish. Here are a few approaches for when opportunity of a conversation is present(making opportunities for youself comes later).

A Few Approaches:
-First thing you say should be funny, and if not the first thing, the next thing after that
-Find common ground as soon as possible -OR- be controversial and start a good natured arguement, flirting can always take place in an arguement, and being able to pull it off gives credit to your character (either way, you have to know a little about the girl - this is where the recover for the question method can be used with good effect)
-If you have a talent, flair or something that impresses, don't hesitate to use it, but keep in mind that cockyness = bad and confidence = good....it can be a fine line. (as a side note, being cocky in a self-mocking way is a popular method with good results)

Introduction

First off, I'd like to welcome everyone to this site. I hope that the advice given herein is used with good intention as well as effect. At all times keep in mind that each approach to women is something that has potential to work, and is open to variation and mixing of techniques. However, moderation is also important, as some techniques are not to be mixed, since they will 'cancel each other out'. Also, remember that success and failure are both methods of learning and you should never come out of an encounter feeling that you have not learned something about women, even if it is just about the individual you approached. That being said, I hope you find the following insightful and useful.